Do I have to give into my FMIL's desire for a $3K rehearsal dinner, when we want a $300 event?

All my finance and I wanted for the rehearsal dinner was a cookout in a park. Since his mom isn't from the town, we found a few options for parks and left it up to her. The park we hinted was the best choice has a pavilion and we can reserve it ahead of time.



She wants to rent a tent and caterer for the crowd. We're thinking like 100 people. So for like $3K, she's going to have this elaborate shindig that she will never find a location to have it at (No place in this town will let you wreck their yard with a tent). The caterers in town are pricey.



All we freaking wanted was for her to go Sams or Gordans and buy some burgers and potato salad. Make a couple Uncles grill it up. Make a couple aunts pick up the three things. Its not a freaking big deal.



Am I suppose to just give up on having an out-of-town cheap get-together? Should I just give in to the fact she can't handle it? Would it be terribly rude to just plan it myself. I'm not a high maintenance bride, but $3K versus $300?Do I have to give into my FMIL's desire for a $3K rehearsal dinner, when we want a $300 event?
Maybe she just wants to feel like she contributed something to the wedding. Explain to her what you really want and that it will be impossible to find somewhere to have the tent. If your FH is her only son, this will be her only chance to plan something like this, and maybe shes just overexcited.
She is excited - and this is her chance to be part of the celebration.

I think you've got to let her throw the party she wants and be very gracious with lots of butt kissing.

Have fun and welcome to the family!Do I have to give into my FMIL's desire for a $3K rehearsal dinner, when we want a $300 event?
Pay for it and you will get what you want. Plain and simple.
Send what you wrote to her.Do I have to give into my FMIL's desire for a $3K rehearsal dinner, when we want a $300 event?
If she is paying and planning it, why not just go with the flow and enjoy what she wants to do for you?
It's YOUR wedding. Tell them what you want, thank them for offering to help, but that it doesn't fit your budget. If they insist, and say they'll pay..stick to your guns, and then tell them that money wasn't the only reason, that the cookout in the park is all you really "want."
Tell her if she wants to pay for it then sure, that sounds great! But if she is not paying then she needs to stay out of it and let you plan it. Just tell her quickly before it gets out of hand. Do what you want, not what she wants!
she's paying. try not to insult her. let her have her moment. your friends will for sure know that it's not your style. besides, most ppl know that the grooms family pays for that and will know it's really about her:)
3K?! Good God! This is your wedding, not hers. You do what you want and can afford. People are going to have a better time at a park setting than in an uptight tent with catering. Shoot, set up a volleyball net! Plan games to play! Have fun. You're going to be under enough stress the next day.
Well my dear.....here it is. The rehearsal dinner or event is the Groom's family's thing. They should do whatever they want or desire. If you fiance can't influence them, then just let them figure it out for themselves. You've voiced your preference .... but it fell on deaf ears. Let her do whatever she wants .... it's her deal. The wedding %26amp; reception is all YOURS do that as you wish.
hey, if she wants to shell out 3k dollars, then by all means step out of the way. That's a pretty nice offer... I wouldn't turn her down.
If she's hosting and paying, it's her party, and she can do what she likes with it.
this is for the rehearsal dinner??

100 people? usually its the couple, wedding party, their parents and a few close out of town guests (and the out of town guests is optional)

If this is for the rehearsal dinner your going to go into debt on the reception dinner trying to make it "ok" for your fmil



Good Luck
If she pays and organises the rehersal dinner then let her have it.

If you organise and pay for it then you do what you want.

Arn't you having the wedding within the next few days anyway? Why does she need 100 people there, usually it is just the bridal party and parents.
You and your fiance plan it yourself and pay for it yourself, have what YOU want and what is in your budget.
My dear, who is paying for the party? If it's you, then do it the way you want. If the mother in law is paying, then shut up and let her do it. Don't you have enough on your plate right now? Don't worry about other people's business. If she's paying for the rehearsal dinner, then it's her privilege to do it like she wants. She's not telling you how to do your wedding I hope.