Monday, February 13, 2012

Do I have reasons to live? Committing suicide?

Since November 1st, 1993 I have lived a lie that I can no longer go on with. I have started each of the last 6478 days by convincing myself that McDonald's would bring back the Double ZestaBurger--if only for a limited time and at only select locations. It was the only way I could get myself out of bed and through the day.



I can no longer lie to myself about my future. I now accept that it is bleak. I do not control my destiny, nor my happiness. Like all of you, I am just a pawn in McDonald's global marketing plan. The same company that has returned the McRib 643 limited times in the last 17 years has never given my well-being a second thought.



Well, congratulations, you win. You have killed my will, spirit and soul; now my body will follow.



Luckily, I will be going to a better place. A place where my happiness won't be controlled by a multi-national conglomeration of fry cooks in cheap suits. While my body will be buried in the same ground where Ray Kroc's is surely spinning; my soul will be with his in heaven. Not here in purgatory controlled by the whims of MBA's from Hamburger U.



Together Ray and I will forever feast on that delicious ambrosia, the Double Zesta Burger.



Sincerely,



Me.Do I have reasons to live? Committing suicide?
James McLamore and David R. Edgerton are laughing their collective butts off. If you're that addicted, and you haven't tried the Angry Whopper, they win. Don't harm yourself in any way without trying that one first.Do I have reasons to live? Committing suicide?
DON'T DO IT! You have to try Subways first, it taste waaay better than McDonalds and also it's way healthier for you. Good luck.

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